Lamenting Promising Lives

I’m not without compassion for anyone who becomes so disconnected from themselves and others that they make irreparable mistakes that they can’t take back.

However, for Candy Crowley to focus her story about the Steubenville rape case verdict on the perpetrators’ loss instead of the victim was inappropriate at best, and disturbing at worst. The boys are not the victims in this story and to treat them us such diminishes and devalues this young woman, what she went through, and what she will continue to go through.

This notion that these boys lives are now ruined is absurd. So they don’t get to play football. What a cross to bear!  And yet sadly for them and so many others, that’s the biggest loss this case represents. I believe these boys were lucky to be tried as juveniles. In fact, being given a 1 to 3 year time out could be life changing for the better. They now have a great opportunity to better their minds and hearts instead of their passes and tackles.

11 thoughts on “Lamenting Promising Lives

  1. I agree with you, Nancy! Women who are raped will have the memory of that horror and pain for the rest of their lives. Time and again, it seems the sympathy does lie with the perpetrator and not the victim.
    As one female to another, I am deeply disappointed in Candy Crowley.

  2. I so agree with you Nancy! They made it about the boys and nothing about the victim! To be found guilty will last as long as the trial, being raped will last a life time. I also agree about being disappointed with Candy Crowley. She’s a woman whose out for the money and publicity and not for women’s rights. This poor child will be scared with that horrific act for ever! Just so sad………. 🙁

  3. I totally agree with you. These guys think that since they are big , strong football players that they are above the law. They think that someone will always get them out of trouble since they play football for Steubanville High School. It happens here in Cleveland also. My heart goes out to the young lady but she could have been a little smarter. Thanks for putting your opinion out there. I didn’t hear all of Candy Crowlys report on CNN today…just what the sentence was….am glad I didn’t hear the rest.

  4. I am furious w/ Crowley and, quite frankly, I don’t give a damn that these boys lives are ruined. They should be. I have no sympathy for those who rape… it’s a about dominance and destruction of another human being and is really no different than pedophiles who prey on the defenseless.

  5. If their lives are ruined, they have no one to blame but themselves. Sadly Ms. Crowley’s comments remind me of the Penn State/Sandusky case where those victims have also been blamed for ruining Penn State’s football program/JoePA’s career. Only a very sick mind would actually blame the victim for ruining the perpetrator’s life.

  6. Nancy, I agree with you totally. They, could have been trial as adults, and they would be facing some real hard time maybe 10 – 15 years or more. Yes, they lives are mess up. They going to be a convicted felon and also, they have to register as sex offender. This is sad. But, The girl, is going to have to live with what they done her for years, nobody knows.

    I’m pretty sure last thing, those young men are thinking about is playing football. They are learning early that, there is consequences to your actions.

  7. As a side note, the current Lifetime movie “Restless Virgins” takes exactly the same offensive approach to this subject, except the words “rape” and “date rape” are never even mentioned. Life imitating “art.” Deplorable.

  8. As a Ohian, I can see how the small town mentality played in this. The boys thought they were above it all. The victim in this has to live with their treatment of her for the rest of her life. With love and counsling, she may overcome it. What ticks me off is how the other students who posted the pictures and aided in advertising this act have been left alone. Now there is an action by Mr Dewine to investigate if charges can be brought up on them. So the boys are no longer football gods. Ge, my heart is raining dirty dishwater for them.They received a very light sentence for their actions. So they lost chances of a football scholarship..So what? Crowely may bemoan the lost of potential in the boys. But what about the girl they assulted? Look what she has lost. Oh thats right, forgive me.She doesn’t play football.

    • Autumn430, you hit it right on the money. Small town sports are a way of life for some. One of my sons is that star athlete that everyone pats on the back, and cheers for at the games. Fortunately I have yet to run across any favoritism. I don’t understand the reasoning behind trying to cover up for them. Is a championship team really worth a girls future, her hopes and her dreams? Sure the boys had hopes and dreams…….so did she.

      Making overweight coaches, and a town living vicariously through their school sports teams, happy about a winning football season does not entitle them to be more deserving of a bright future than anyone else.

  9. I agree Nancy the focus should be on cracking down on rapist and supporting the women through her rape. The thing is if 52% of the women do not report their rape. Does it mean those rapes did not happen? If they do not report their rape why would they go to an rape support group at a Hospital. The women need help to get them healed from their ordeal of their rape. The percentage of the rapist goes to prison is too low 3%.

  10. I am in such agreement with you. I live in Ohio, not too far from Stuebenville. I was shocked, appalled and saddened not only by the victimization of the girl to begin with and the tragedies and injustices that were done to her that night, but twice as much more as her re-victimization by the media. To talk about what these perpetrators (not victims in any way in my opinion) had lost was not only poor reporting, it was a glimpse into how morals and standards for justice have diminished in the media. Those boys lost nothing compared to what the victim lost. Their nightmares will pale in comparison to those of their victims.

    I have two teenage sons, and we have watched the 20/20 special on this case, which served as a good platform for their father and I to discuss right from wrong, actions vs consequences, and reiterating that acting and doing the right thing is the only acceptable way of life for our sons. I am very proud of my boys, and am very encouraged by their willingness to openly discuss sex with us, that I beg every parent to be open and honest with their teenagers. Don’t be in denial that they will wait to have sex, or that they won’t want to experiment with it. Have the talk, get them protection, and be very, very open and willing to hear everything they have to say.

    I would much rather be a Grandmother at a ripe old age than having a grandchild before I have grey hair! I also would never want to be those Stuebenville parents having to visit their sons in prison, or having to hold and rock my teenaged daughter through nightmares.

Leave a Reply