I was 25 years old when I became pregnant. I was diligent about using birth control yet I became pregnant regardless.
I was living with and financially supporting myself and my boyfriend at the time. When I realized I was pregnant I was shocked, scared, and overwhelmed. But I was never uncertain about how I felt and what I knew. I knew I was not ready, prepared, or willing to be a mother at that time. I never once wavered in my belief that this was not the man with whom I wanted to, or should raise a child. Simply put, I was resolute in my decision to terminate my pregnancy, and grateful for those that tirelessly fought for my right to make that decision about my own body, and my own life. I was relieved that I lived in a time where I would not be shamed, confronted or harmed by others while walking into my nurturing doctor’s office for this safe and legal procedure.
While my spiritual beliefs are irrelevant in the sense that I don’t need to justify an act that is legal in this country, I’m going to share with you what’s very personal to me, in hopes that it may open the minds of those that think they have a monopoly on what is right or wrong, or what is true and what is not.
I am a very spiritual being. I believe deeply in the connection between heaven and earth. I do not follow any specific religion but my faith is strong, and it is mine.
In regards to birth, I do not believe a fetus is a human being until it can survive outside of the womb…until it can breathe on its own. I believe the soul enters the body after it is separated from its mother. Until then it is somewhere outside of us.
When I found out I was pregnant, I went to sit in The Little Brown Church on Coldwater Canyon. I chose this church only because I love church structures, it was quiet, close, and no one was ever there. I sat there for 3 to 4 hours every day for a week, and communed with this soul, who I believed was around me for a reason. My sister had been trying to have a baby for two years and I asked this soul if it would either wait for me until I could be the mother I wanted to be and the mother a baby needed, or go to my sister who was ready now. She would love him the way that I would want a baby to be loved. My sister Suzi gave birth to my nephew Josh, nine months to the day after my abortion.
The entirety of my short pregnancy and abortion was a deep and transcending experience. It is my story. It is my truth, and no one else’s. It belongs to me, and I cherish it. It helped me evolve me as a person, and fueled my desire to be a good mother into actual manifestation when I gave birth almost 20 years later to the love of my life, Kate. It was ultimately a profound experience for which I have no regrets.
There are still those that insist on continuing to chip away at, or out and out deny us, our legal and rightful choice to control our own bodies, as well as our choice to decide when or if we become mothers. Their truth is theirs, not ours. Their relentless obsession with trying to correct us in the name of their faith is wrought with hypocrisies. Their obsession with trying to suppress us is suspect at best, and will never be satisfied, because it is wrong. They can never win this, because we won’t let them. It is 2020 and they are still invading while we continue to stop them. There is a world of women and children right here, right now, homeless, parentless, starving, being raped and slaughtered that need and want their attention, we don’t. It is time for them to move on. If they are really so pro-life, it’s time they focused on the living.
Since 1989, I have been diligent and unyielding in supporting, defending, and championing a women’s right to have access to safe and legal abortions in facilities that are also safe, legal, and available for EVERY WOMEN.
I stand proudly with Planned Parenthood and all the reproductive health clinics all over America that love, nurture and respect all women regardless of their race, income or zip code.
Nancy Lee Grahn